thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
