Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
