New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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