Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
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