well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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