You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
