he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
