I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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