Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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