Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
