It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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