Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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