Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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