Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
