You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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