i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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