do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
He felt like a one man threesome
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
