He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize