NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
