We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
