So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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