Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
