haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
