Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
