porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
