u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
