I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
