69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
COCAINE IS GR8
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
