So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
