Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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