Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
