so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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