Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
