PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So many bounce houses so little time
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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