i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize