garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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