Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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