respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
