glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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