no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
