I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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