where am i from again
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
