I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
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I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
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its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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