He is such a slut. More and more my type.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
