we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
