I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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