is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
