Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
