What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
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