i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
