She's JV to your varsity
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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