Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
