I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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