How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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