i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
