Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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