I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
