dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize