you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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