Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
